I mentioned earlier that my life was in disarray because of my kitchen being remodeled. And then I got stuck at home with no appliances or sinks due to a snow storm. But then suddenly it was over.
But the most important part of this is WHO was doing the renovations. They were very nice men. But after they left I had the overwhelming desire to clean my kitchen. With bleach. When the hubs came home and saw me, with latex gloves on, a bucket of bleach and on my hands and knees scrubbing he just stared. Then finally...
Hubs: "What are you doing?"
Hubs: "Exactly what is our floor infected with?"
Me: "Butt Lesions, obviously." (I realize NOW this was probably not an obvious infection of our ceramic tile).
Hubs: "And where did the tile get butt lesions?"
Me: "From the contractor. HE has butt lesions."
Hubs: "How do you know?"
Me: "Really? That's what you want to ask right now? You don't want to know if the butt lesions are infected with like herpes or Malaria? Do you not realize I am trying to SAVE our LIVES?"
Hubs: "Well, are they?"
Me: "How would I know? I didn't ask for a sample of the man's butt lesions!"
Hubs: "How do you know he has butt lesions?"
Me: "Because I am pretty sure he moonlights as a plumber."
To me, that OBVIOUSLY means he doesn't wear a belt. Or suspenders. Or freaking underwear that covers his crack. To Hubs that meant I hired him to do plumbing...
Hubs: "So he....was working on the toilet?"
Me: "Don't be ridiculous. He puts in tile."
Hubs: "Then how do you know of the butt lesions?"
Me: "Aaron told me!" (Aaron is a co-worker - a married co-worker who likes women).
Hubs: "And he knows because..."
Me: "You pay no attention. Aaron SAW the butt lesions when he was bent over."
Hubs: "Nevermind...I don't REALLY need to know...."