Friday, December 10, 2010

Know Thy Enemies, Part 2

As the story of Enemy continues, I realize I need to back up a little before I go forward. I think the story of the first time I met Enemy, and the story of the first time W (my best friend) met Enemy. For those who have emailed me that this doesn’t seem like an “Enemy” at all, you have to understand, in order to get to the part where she becomes an Enemy, I have to tell the background. Ok, so here we go:

The first time I met Enemy was when I visited the law school I decided to attend. The school sent out “roommate lists” so that we could find someone to live with. Enemy was on the list. I had called her about becoming roommates because she was originally from a town in Virginia. In my head, a Virginia girl could NEVER be that bad (in retrospect, I’ve now met a substantial amount of people from the town where she grew up and I’m fairly certain that there is something in the water there that causes women to be petty and evil and men to be arrogant). Anyway, I called but she had decided to live alone. My exboyfriend, Jay, and I were visiting the area and looking for apartments when I called Enemy once again to get together. She lived near the town and it made sense to at least meet one person prior to entering school. I called, we agreed to go to dinner at Olive Garden.

While sitting at the table, I was explaining to her how I didn’t eat any meat at that time. I ordered some sort of vegetable pasta, she had something with meat sauce and also ordered stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer. She said “They’re stuffed with veggies and cheese, try one.” Ok, I admit, I should have probably known better. I should have read the description, but I was trusting this girl. The mushroom was stuffed with crab meat. I got ill that night from it, but I decided to forgive her. I mean, really, it was an honest mistake according to her.  (I still don't eat any seafood, it always makes me ill). 

A month after school began, I decided to go home for a weekend. September 11th had happened, I missed my family, and my dad had decided to buy me a new car. Enemy went home with me. We made plans with W and when they were introduced, it went something like this.

“This is W. She and I have been best friends for 7 years.” ~Me

“Well, I’m the best friend now.” ~Enemy

Territorial? Yes. Offensive? Yes, especially to W. The three of us left my parent’s house to go out and we ran into another old friend, LK. LK had known W and I both for his entire life and part of the constants in his life was the fact that W and I were best friends. Enemy introduced herself to LK as “M’s new best friend.” LK looked from W to me and back with a weird look on his face, waiting for us to correct her. Instead W and I just kind of looked at each other and shook our heads.

We began to joke with LK about his car. It was one of those Fast and the Furious looking cars and W and I asked him if he was audition for the next Fast and the Furious saga (or something to that effect). LK laughed. Enemy looked at LK and said, “What kind of idiot drives a car like that? Does it make you feel manly? Probably overcompensating.” Those may not have been the exact words, but something equally as offensive. LK told her she was a bitch and told me he didn’t think she was a good friend for me because I’m not a bitch.

I remember the ride back to school when Enemy said to me, “You’re lucky you’re out of that hellhole. Those people are SUCH rednecks. You’re lucky to have me.”

I suppose she meant lucky in that Single White Female sort of way….

1 comment:

Lindsey James said...

Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about all this! Good times in a, "Help! Get me out of here!" sort of way.