Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Know Thy Enemies, Part 6

After I returned for Christmas break, things went down hill.  First, the day I returned was also the day of a wake for a fellow law student’s father.  I wasn’t close to the law student so I didn’t think I should go.  Enemy went though, and Kristy went with her.  Kristy was trying to make amends and be friends with everyone.

Kristy told me that night, while they were at Enemy’s mom’s house (did I mention her mom lived about 5 minutes away?) Enemy went on and on about how sorry she felt for me because I wasn’t dating much and it was simply pathetic.  Nevermind I was in law school.  Also, forget the fact that I was dating someone from home (long distance, but whatever).  She decided I was jealous of her pending marriage to Nerd-Boy because I was so pathetic.
A few days later, Enemy told me that she had decided that she didn’t want to pay for the landline telephone.  She decided that since she had a cell phone, she would just use it.  I simply told her ok and asked her to remove the phone from her bedroom and I took the one out of the kitchen so there was only a phone in my bedroom.  A few weeks later (don’t worry, I’ll go back and cover the dramatics of what happened in those two weeks which didn’t involve the phone later), I overheard her telling some girl at school how I was paying for the phone, but I didn’t know she had one in her room she was using for local calls.

So, when people called my phone asking to speak to Enemy, instead of giving out her cell number (or saying “She’s using a cell phone only, may I ask who’s calling and I’ll have her call you back”) I simply said “I’m sorry, wrong number.”  A few times people questioned me so I would say “This is a private line, she doesn’t use it.  You figure out how to get her.”

One day, probably a month after I heard her say she had a phone in her room (I would have gone to check, but she and I had both put locks on our bedroom doors because of the animosity between us), I got home and she wasn’t there.  Needless to say, I was pretty happy.  I called W and closed my bedroom door.  When W and I talk, we usually talk for hours.  At some point during our conversation, there was a beep.  When I looked at the caller ID screen I saw it was Papa Johns or Pizza Hut or some local pizza place.  I decided not to answer and continued talking.  A few minutes later, the same pizza place beeped in.  Again, I didn’t answer.  Finally, there was a third beep from another number so I answered.

“Hey this is Greg from Pizza Place.”


“Did you order a pizza?”


“Did your roommate?”

“Doubt it, I’m the only one here.”

“Oh, ok, thanks then.”

I returned to my call with W and about fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on my bedroom door.  I opened to door to see Enemy staring at me.  “Did someone call for me?”

“I don’t think so.  And if they did, shouldn’t they call your cell?”

“Did a pizza guy call?” She was practically yelling.

“OH.  Yeah.  I didn’t know you were home.  I told him I didn’t order a pizza.”  I was laughing on the inside because this was just funny.

“I did!”

“Use your own phone number then.”

“They won’t accept cell phone numbers!  I called them and yelled because they didn’t bring the pizza and they said someone at my house said no one ordered a pizza!!”

"Well, no one from THIS phone number did," I told her pointing at the phone.  "Perhaps you should have thought about that before deciding not to pay for the phone."

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