Thursday, December 9, 2010

Know Thy Enemies, Part 1

I previously posted this story when I first got out of law school.  It's a series about an enemy I had (my only true enemy).  I hope you enjoy it!


I once had an enemy. I haven’t had THAT many true enemies in my life, but this one was special. This one really tried to hurt me. I’m not using her name, we’ll just call her Enemy. I don’t know if she reads this blog (she read my old blogs, so she may read this one also) and it does no good to put her name on here as it’s a fairly common name and in the event someone who reads this knows her, knows me, doesn’t realize what happened, I don’t want to put Enemy, or myself, in the awkward situation of trying to explain the events and one of us (ok, her, most likely) losing a friend. This is going to be a multiple part entry because this all occurred over the course of three years. Yes, my three years of law school.

I began law school with a roommate who was rather flighty, but over all nice (yes, Kristy, that one is you). I also had a friend named, for your purposes, Enemy. Enemy began to insert herself in the life of Kristy and I. She would be at our apartment every day. She would cook dinner at our place. It was really almost as if the three of us lived there together, only there were just two bedrooms.

I realized early on that most people at law school didn’t like Enemy. She had a nickname. “Crazy [insert Enemy’s real name here]” but I paid no attention to it. I thought she was a nice girl. A little boy crazy, but overall nice. In our first few months of law school, Enemy dated…well, quite honestly, I can’t tell you how many guys there were, but she was in love with each and every one of them. And became quite stalkerish with them. Here is where I began to realize Enemy was not stable:

She called me one day from a guy’s apartment. This guy she had gone out with over the summer, he realized she was crazy (I believe, but I’m not entirely sure as this has been years ago, she began talking about marriage on their second date). The story of this day from him, we’ll call him Larry, is as follows:
Larry was on the patio with his neighbor and they were talking about Enemy. Larry was telling neighbor about the summer and how she tried to become part of his life. She had gone to see him one weekend and introduced herself to all his friends as Larry’s girlfriend. He had only known her a week. She talked about marriage and kids and how she had a brain tumor that was her twin who she had eaten in the womb (I’m not making this stuff up). Anyway, neighbor and Larry were talking about her and Larry walked from the patio into the kitchen and saw her STANDING in his living room. She said the door was open so she came on in to talk. He said “Give me a minute,” and went to tell Neighbor “Crazy Enemy is inside! RUUUUUNNNN!” Neighbor ran to his place telling Lancelot to get him when it was over.

Larry went back into the apartment where Enemy was on the couch reading a magazine. She began to ask him questions about their relationship and what had happened. Larry reminded her “there was no relationship. We just went out a couple of times.” The phone rings. Larry goes into the kitchen to answer and finds it’s an old friend. He carries the cordless phone upstairs as he tells Enemy “I have to take this, show yourself out.”

This is what Larry found out later (I think he knew, but he found out for sure after discussions with Kristy and myself). When he went upstairs, Enemy went into the kitchen and quietly lifted the phone from the wall to listen in. She heard him say, “Thank god you called. Remember Crazy Enemy? She’s here! And she won’t leave! She seems to think we had a relationship over the summer.” He also thought he heard something on the line and asked “Hello? Is someone there?” Enemy said nothing, but quietly hung up the receiver and called me to tell me “I just over heard Larry telling some girl I was crazy and we never had a relationship! I need you, can I come over?”

You have to remember, at this point, I was still her friend. I told her to come over. When she told me she had listened in on his conversation, I told her that was horrible and she should never do that and it was time to get over Larry.

And this, my friends, is the beginning of the Enemy story.

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