I swear, I'm not this stupid. Really.
Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping and my mind was elsewhere. I knew what I needed. Chicken. Milk. Cheese. Easy enough. Our grocery store has some of the worst "fresh" chicken I've ever tasted though so I was looking for a different brand that might taste better. And there I see the Perdue Farms chicken breasts. Individually wrapped so you can use what you want and freeze the rest. I needed 3 pieces, it came with 5. I'm thinking "This will work."
SO I do what I always do and read the label. Mostly to see how many ounces each chicken breast was but something caught my eye. There in big bold letters were the words:
Huh? Vegetarian diet? But it's CHICKEN. Chicken is not a vegetable. So I stare at the chicken through the plastic thinking "Is this some kind of soy based fake chicken? Why would they put soy based fake chicken in the meat section? Shouldn't this say soy based fake chicken instead of chicken breasts on the label? HOW IS IT VEGETARIAN???"
I'm so glad I didn't say any of that out loud.
Because then I realize that it wasn't calling the product vegetarian...it was simply stating that the product ATE a vegetarian diet.
I swear, I am not this stupid.