Super Bowl Party Part 2

Although our Super Bowl Party was not as fun as I had hoped (for me at least, the uninvited children had a BLAST), Hubs and I did have some good laughs about it later.  As in last night, as we cleaned barbecue sauce off the wall and the cabinets. 

As I mentioned earlier, I didn't get to watch much of the game or many of the commercials.  But Hubs filled me in on what I missed.  I have to start this story by saying that chatty wife is a very religious lady.  Which is great.  I think it's awesome that she feels so strongly about God and religion and being morally correct.  But sometimes, for entertainment value, morals can be loose and I'm ok with that.  Especially when it comes to Super Bowl commercials.

Apparently there was a commercial with Kim Kardashian (I found a link!!!).  When this commercial aired, chatty wife told her husband to cover his eyes because it was so risque.  She looked to me for backup but apparently at the time I was staring at her son as he bounced chicken off my wall so I didn't know what was so upsetting to her.  I did, however, know what was so upsetting to ME at the time...

Prior to that, during the halftime show, Fergie was dancing with Slash in a provocative manner.  She again told her husband to cover his eyes and said to everyone in the room "I just can't believe that they would show things like this on television!"  Hubs told me he heard her say that and ran from the kitchen to the living room so he could see what was going on, fully expecting her to be talking about a Janet Jackson-ish wardrobe malfunction.  She wasn't.  Fergie was simply rubbing up against Slash.  Needless to say, Hubs was greatly disappointed. 

The one commercial I did see, and apparently was able to offend chatty wife during, was a Go Daddy commercial where Jillian and Danica look like they could be nude.  Chatty wife said "Oh no!  Can you believe that?  They are NAKED!"  I responded "If I had Jillian Michaels body I'd do a nude commercial..."  Hubs told me that Chatty wife was standing near him when I said that and said to him "Can you believe she said that?"  Hubs responded "If she had Jillian Michaels body I would totally support her in that dream." 

Quite possibly my favorite commercial that offended Chatty wife featured Faith Hill.  When he said "Your rack is unreal" Chatty wife screeched in horror and said "Oh no!  I can't believe someone would say something like that!"  Everyone else in the room (including her husband) was laughing.  She actually slapped her husband and said "Don't you DARE laugh at that!  That's vulgar!"  Hubs later told me I should fully expect to receive flowers next week that have that same thing on the card.

Adventures in Renovations

I mentioned earlier that my life was in disarray because of my kitchen being remodeled.  And then I got stuck at home with no appliances or sinks due to a snow storm.  But then suddenly it was over. 

But the most important part of this is WHO was doing the renovations.  They were very nice men.  But after they left I had the overwhelming desire to clean my kitchen.  With bleach.  When the hubs came home and saw me, with latex gloves on, a bucket of bleach and on my hands and knees scrubbing he just stared.  Then finally...

Hubs: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Disinfecting."

Hubs: "Exactly what is our floor infected with?"

Me:  "Butt Lesions, obviously."  (I realize NOW this was probably not an obvious infection of our ceramic tile).

Hubs: "And where did the tile get butt lesions?"

Me: "From the contractor.  HE has butt lesions."

Hubs: "How do you know?"

Me: "Really?  That's what you want to ask right now?  You don't want to know if the butt lesions are infected with like herpes or Malaria?  Do you not realize I am trying to SAVE our LIVES?"

Hubs: "Well, are they?"
Me: "How would I know?  I didn't ask for a sample of the man's butt lesions!"

Hubs: "How do you know he has butt lesions?"

Me: "Because I am pretty sure he moonlights as a plumber."

To me, that OBVIOUSLY means he doesn't wear a belt.  Or suspenders.  Or freaking underwear that covers his crack.  To Hubs that meant I hired him to do plumbing...

Hubs: "So he....was working on the toilet?"

Me: "Don't be ridiculous.  He puts in tile."

Hubs: "Then how do you know of the butt lesions?"

Me: "Aaron told me!"  (Aaron is a co-worker - a married co-worker who likes women).

Hubs: "And he knows because..."

Me: "You pay no attention.  Aaron SAW the butt lesions when he was bent over."

Hubs:  "Nevermind...I don't REALLY need to know...."